Answering Kimi's questions part 2
Dear Kimi,
Don't worry, when I see you in heaven I will give you a big hug and apologize for bringing up so many comments to poop in my blog! LOL!
I apologize for being so harsh in my last comment and please know they are not personal as I don't really know you; they are coming from my wild heart and that's why they are a little rough! Sorry!
I DO appreciate your responses and they have made me think a lot. I think I have led us off the track of my original premise which was not whether a woman should stay at home or go to college, but that I was standing in defense of Christian women making homemaking into an idol or as a way to express their femininity. Again, our fullness is in Christ and I know that we do agree on that!
Please know that as far as expressing one's character, I DO NOT mean that in a secular way but in a spiritual way. Who are we in Christ? How is our character formed in Christ? But I do believe that young people need to have different experiences in life so that they can learn to apply their faith to their life. They shouldn't be encouraged to live in a bubble or stereotyped lifestyle. That is what I am against.
I live in Europe now and am originally from one of the three largest cities in the States. I am not revealing details because my original idea for this blog was to practice my writing skills and share personal details of what God is sharing with me in hopes of encouraging others and I did not think anyone would ever even visit this sight! Now it's evolved into something else! LOL
Where I live now in Europe, young women, Christian or not, all are focused on getting an university degree. (But I did encourage young people going to college before I moved here.) University is the only way they can get a job and survive. In this economy men and women must work to support themselves and their families. If you are living at home and your husband supports you, then you are very blessed indeed.
I currently work with disadvantage teenagers who have no family, home and little schooling. I cannot look at these young girls, many who can only feed themselves by prostituting themselves, and offer them an American stereotyped women's thinking of Christianity. I have to offer them Christ. The real deal with no tea and cookies.
This has been an interesting discussion for me as I am truly interested in what young people in America are thinking about and how they feel about life, especially their relationships with God. Please understand that the blogs I am reading do appear to me to be promoting homemaking and staying at home and I am not getting the picture that there are other options for young women. Please understand that now I know this may not be the intention of the writers, but I am fascinated that the young men are writing about changing the world and the women aren't.
I am curious about a couple of things and anyone is free to comment. (I am NOT trying to get a heated discussion going! :) I seriously am interested in the following:
If you are choosing the calling of a homemaker, how did you come to this decision? How do you know it is a calling for you? (I'm not looking for personal details, just general ones.)
Many comment that people are giving them flack for staying at home....Who are these people? Are they Christians? People at church? Older people? Non-Christians?
What is a secular Christian to you? This has been mentioned a couple of times....
Do you know any young women who are serious about getting a degree and going into a profession?
I want to leave you with a piece from Oswald Chambers that I read today in "My Utmost for His Highest."
"If you are avoiding the call of the religious thinking of today's world, and instead are,"looking unto Jesus." (Hebrews 12:2) setting your heart on what He wants, and thinking His thoughts, you will be considered impractical and a daydreamer. But when He suddenly appears in the work of the heat of the day, you will be the only one who is ready. You should trust no one, and even ignore the finest saint on earth if he blocks your sight of Jesus Christ."
Kimi, you can call me wild cat anytime!
Please come back and visit!
posted by Wild Child @ 3:34 AM
3 comments
3 Comments:
Dear Wild Child,
I am afraid I am breaking my own word and replying to your post! : ) But perhaps I was to hasty in thinking that our discussion was going to end in flames and not bear any fruit after all! Thank you for sharing about where you are living and what you are dealing in your ministry. It helped me understand where you were coming with. As far as your questions go, I have to say that to answer them fully would require a lot of time! (for both of us, me to write, you to read! LOL). But I did want to just say a few things, if I may. (note, this is going to be yet another way to long comment! My apologies!) There is a fundamental principle that many of these girls are basing further decisions on. These decisions vary (such as going to school, working outside the home, working out of the home, and choosing education at home). But they are often, and, in my mind, rightly so, done with an understanding of the different roles of men and woman. This is a very very unpopular stance in the secular world. The stance that men and women were created for different roles does not exactly meet approval. It was a subject that I spent hours studying the Bible on (doing word searches, looking at words in the original Greek, reading commentaries, reading books). I wanted to know what it all meant and I have come to the conclusion based off of these studies that men and women are in fact different, do have different roles, and have an equal status of importance and value. I don't know if you are already familiar with this or not, but it's basically going to the root of what it means to be masculine or feminine. I am just scratching the surface here, and have probably raised more questions than answered! An excellent book on the topic is "What's the difference" by John Piper, it's not super long, but gives a more thorough understanding than I can of the topic. But because these girls have embraced the design they see outlined in scripture, some have questioned whether going to college would help them in their pursuit of both godliness and fulfilling the role that God has designed them for. I, for one, have not come to the conclusion that college it out of the question. But I do respect those who have chosen a different path than I have So in answer to your question, I know that those friends of mine who did choose to remain at home did so out of the conviction that it was the best way for them personally to fulfill the principles they saw in the Bible. I did enjoy what I learned at my year of college (I took classes on music theory, and sight singing and ear training, pottery, a speech class and was involved on the speech and debate team) and was very glad that I went. I think that my experience there did not detract from my homemaking, husband helping role now, but helped me. I did have to deal with a lot of "junk" and also had to quit a writing class for on the very first day of class we had a read a loud of a very offensive story. I did not feel that it was right for me ,as a Christian, to read or hear explicit stories about a couple making love in detail.
Some do not want to go to college where they will learn history, writing, psychology, world view, etc from a secular view. They question, why spend money to learn something that goes against God's word? It's true that there are Christians colleges, but unfortunately , even some of them can be unduly influenced by the world instead of God's word. Having said that, like I said before, I do not feel that college is out of the question.
In my very limited understanding of some of the other countries, including the one you are in, I do understand also that having a college degree is very crucial to having any chance of a good paying job. It's not necessarily true here. It can be, but also a lot of people who go to college can end up at the same job as an high school graduate, or even working for the high school graduate!!! It all depends on what field you want to enter.
Like I said before, I had my own piano studio which I was running from my home since I was 16. I knew that I could gain more respect as a musician in some people's eyes if I got a degree and that in other countries it would be crucial to the success of my studio. But it wasn't necessary for me here. Plus, I ended up not having enough time to practice because of my college classes and was actually not progressing in my skill as a pianist (which was most important).
Once again, I am way to wordy and have to seperate my "comments"
(continued) I know that you were asking for a general answer not specific, but as long as this is already, I find I don't know how to answer your question of "how did you know that it was a calling for you?" without going into it personally. First I would like to say that my personal belief, based on what I see outlined in scripture , is that we do have different roles. As a wife my primary responsibility is to help my husband succeed. I do think that a woman's femininity will play out in a different way as a single lady, but I can't get into that right now. I did continue to teach piano during the first year of our marriage. I think that it was helpful to my husband and I would probably be still doing it now except that God had a different plan. We learned that our first child, Faith Felicity, had a very serious heart defect at 21 weeks into my pregnancy. I continued to teach until a few weeks before she was born and then put my energy into being with her while she was waiting for a heart transplant in the hospital. It is a long story, but she died after almost eight wonderful weeks with her. It was the most hard, but most wonderful experience in my life. I think that those times of holding her, feeding her, singing to her, and yes, cleaning up her poopy diapers, were some of the best days of my life. My only regret is that I had to sleep sometimes and so had to leave her for the night. I could have started up my piano studio again once I recovered enough from her death, but by that time I was pregnant again and dealing with morning sickness. I would like to one day teach piano again, it is something that I love to do. But I have to say that it pales in comparison to having children. So, I have chosen to continue to try to learn as much as I can at home while waiting for this new baby to be born while serving my husband by not only keeping house and cooking but also helping him with his own business when I can. After the baby is born, I will have much less time to study and write and learn from books. But I have found that the experience of having a baby teaches me so much about life than can not be learned second hand from a book. I will be home schooling my child and future children, God willing, so that will involve me adding to my other skills, the skill of teaching something other than piano.
I recently heard of a feminist who got on a popular show on TV and was trashing stay-at-home mothers and I wonder if she knows what she is missing. I know that she would view me as dull, uneducated, and unambitious to be happy in trying to help my husband succeed (instead of trying to help myself succeed) and in trying to raise a godly family. But I feel that I am very ambitious in wanted to try to help shape this child's heart and mind. I hope that by committing myself to my family, I can be making an impact on this world. I find child raising a very worthwhile thing to pursue.
But it is not just mothers who feel this way. Some young ladies feel this before they even have the prospect of marriage and feel that God is calling them to prepare well for being a wife and mother (which doing well demands so much more then just cooking and cleaning). I do think that it is important to prepare for, whether you go to college or not. So some have devoted their early lives to learn as much as they can from their mothers and others on how to run a household, teach children (especially if they plan on home schooling), how to make a home lovely, how to be hospitable, and how to serve their husbands well. Many also do other activities, like I mentioned before, being involved in politics, outreach, mission trips, some I know volunteer at pregnancy crisis centers, another runs her own drama team, another, like I did, runs her own piano studio from home. It would be a sorry state to only learn cooking and cleaning, but I haven't yet come across someone who only learns those two things. They usually are much more well rounded than that. Well, I obviously didn't get very far in answering any questions.........but I think I am quite long enough!!!!!!
Kimi,
Thanks again for writing back. Now I am understanding you better....
I also think that men and women are different! :) Yes and that is still true after six years of Bible school! I am not of the mind that a women and men are equal in anyway! Viva la difference! But our goal as Christians is to become more like Christ and to share the gospel with those who don't know Him. This should be our goal and can be done irrespective of "roles" I don't like to use the word roles because it implies that there is some kind of way a man or woman "should" act or behave as a Christian hence culture stereotypes begin to develop in our thinking. ie, only be a homemaker etc....if a woman is choosing this because it's where the Lord is leading her in her relationship with Him, to stay at home, then that's great! I just worry young girls will be influenced that this is the only choice for them. I actually had teachers from my Christian high school laugh at me and put me down because I wanted an university degree (and I was accepted at a very reputable Christian University) They felt my "role" was to marry and have babies. Now, I WANT this, but until I find that special man, I want to develop my life and use my talents to serve God. I didn't have the option of staying at home as many parents cannot afford to support adult children.
When I was in university I also had problems because of my faith and walked out of several classes. I however did not choose to quit because the world does not see things my way! I know that we are to be the salt and light of the world. In one class the professor was quite understanding and said he didn't even realize the film he was showing was actually offensive to some! I can say in each situation God used my stance to open the door to help share His morals and values in the lives of people who didn't know Him.
Christ called us to live in the world but not to be of the world! We need to be willing to share our faith....this may be some of where we are coming from in different ways because I am getting the idea that evangelism is not taught as being as important in conservative reformed circles as in other denominations and from reading blogs I am seeing that many are coming from the reformed faith.....
I do sincerely thank you for your comments and will be praying about all I've read and ask God to change what He needs to change and confirm what He has taught me to know to be His truth. That is what I think we are all after in the end! :)
I am truly sorry to hear about your first child and I pray that God will bless the health of you and your current baby!
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