Christian Women's Answer to Feminism
I have really enjoyed all the dialogue on this blog concerning femininity and the idolatry of feminism that seems to be going on in the circles of some Christian women.
I have been studying and reading more blogs on this topic and find that the topic of women and their femininity isn’t just something for Christian women to be discussing, but it seems that American femininity in general needs to be redefined.
I grew up under the shadow of the ERA movement and lived in a very conservative family. I was told by society that I could grow up and become whatever I wanted (profession wise) and receive the same pay as a man. I grew up and found out that while women’s job opportunities had definitely opened up, things were not exactly equal in the business world. Things were even less equal in the relationship area as men and women base sex as the foundation of their relationships and men have moved away from committing to anything.
With the “coming of age” of the feminist movement, many women have found that it’s not possible to “have it all.” They were sold on being able to be a professional woman as well as a wife and mother. They grew up and found out that as always, women had to make a choice. The good thing about feminism is that now women at least have a choice.
The backlash of feminism is that many women again are lost and are not able to define themselves in society. Christian women especially are taking this backlash to extreme and are now throwing themselves into anything and everything that has been stereotyped as “feminine” so that they can define their world and create emotional security for themselves.
Is it any wonder then that young Christian women who are sheltered and taught to be separate from the world, begin to romanticize their femininity, their relationships with their future husbands and future children? Is it any wonder that married women crave the coziness and safety of home and blog to each other about the joys of baking bread? They are not seeking a true foundation of biblical values in their lives, but building a foundation on the stereotype of femininity.
Titus 2:3 says:
Teach the older women to live in a way that is appropriate for someone serving the Lord. They must not go around speaking evil of others and must not be heavy drinkers. Instead, they should teach others what is good. These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely…
Let’s stop right there and look at these three words closely,
to live wisely
Here’s my paraphrase, "to teach younger women not to live foolishly, rashly, or to stick romantic fantasies in young girl’s heads. To not indulge in feminine stereotypes that would take them away from their focus in life", which is per I Corinthians 7:
To be more devoted to the Lord in body and in spirit
Kimi commented and offered a web site for me to check out called, Home Living Helper. In it, I read about the joys of living in rural English during the early 1800’s and how women nowadays just don’t know how to cook anymore because no one taught them how because their moms were all working etc etc. This is all hogwash. This blog is just a homey little hobby blog for women who are living on a different planet. Whatever floats your boat.
Sitting around and talking about the good ole days in Victorian times is not going to help any modern young Christian women of today. Victorian times were painful for women. Every childbirth was life threatening, and most marriages had nothing to do with love but where about finances. And don’t even get me started on romanticizing Jane Austen’s world. Is it really better to live in a world where one daughter could create a scandal with a man and her four sisters would be denied marriage with anyone else and become destined to a life of poverty? Do these women now really want that?
We are called to Christ, not to a womanly stereotype. Christ died for us, not just for men but for us. The Bible is not just for men but for women and we are called to live our lives being devoted to Him and not to a stereotype.
" Why be like pagans who are so deeply concerned about these things? Your heavenly Father already knows all your needs, and he will give you all you need from day to day if you live for him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern." Matthew 6:32-33
(All Bible quotes NLT)
posted by Wild Child @ 6:54 AM
10 comments
10 Comments:
I believe you hit the proverbial nail on the head.
Yes, feminism has brought some negative things to women--but over-reacting the other direction is just as bad for (Christian) women.
The NT has much to say to women--yet baking bread is not something it does mention. I think you are right on with the way use you use scripture here.
Wild Child,
Thank you for actually going and reading the article I suggested. I know that you must be busy and don't have all the time in the world. It is true that we must have balance and not go to one extreme or another. It is also true that the older woman must be careful not to put fantasies into younger ladies heads. That would not be wise. But i find that it is interesting that you choose to quote the verses that you did. In those verses we do find a clear commandment that those who are younger are to learn to "to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored." What does the phrase "worker at home" mean to you? I see this verse as not promoting a "stereotype" of woman, but revealing what the heart of a woman should be. A lover of husband and children (a lover of family) and a keeper, a worker of the home. It is important to indentify what the world says a woman should be and what the Bible says a woman should be.
This isn't just about baking bread, my friends.
One more thing, I think you rather misunderstood the point of the article. The author was not trying to romantize the time period. They had their own problems. She was simply showing what their culture had that we have lost. If we read her conclusion you will see that, as follows.
"The truth is that our life in the recent years has become public-centered instead of home-centered. Making Powerpoint presentations in the office is seen as infinitely superior to baking cookies or reading to one's child. The only achievement that counts is when one makes more money than one's neighbour. Money-making is seen as a goal in itself..........
Yet the home is the foundation of every society. When home life fails, the society fails, too. Homemakers should not be ashamed to stay home. Vice versa, they should get a broader perspective on things. We are not just cooking dinner or scrubbing the floors, we are rebuilding that essential what is lost in our society, but which is vital to any society's survival - the culture of home."
You are welcome to say her opinion is hogwash. But you should realize what you are saying is hogwash. The culture of the home is hogwash. The home being the foundation of society (a principle widely known until very recent years) is hogwash.
And you are agreeing with those who say that making money is superior to serving family.
If you have the time, here is an interesting link to an e-mail written by a 27 year old woman that has found the world's idea of success is not all it's made out to be.
http://www.biblicalwomanhoodonline.com/blog.htm, under the post entitled The modern life is a lonely life.
The point of her e-mail is not to say that everyone who is single is going against the will of God, by the way. I know that you have said that you want to have a family to some day (right?) so I am not giving you this link to say that's what is going to happen to you! I just thought it had some interesting points.
I appreciate your comments very much and will check out the blogsite you listed and comment. I am busy the next few days, (not making money or cleaning my house but trying to help a street child with no family, get medical care) so I will comment back as soon as I can! :)
Dear Wild Child,
I hope that everything goes with with the street child you are helping. I am glad that they have been able to find help in you. Since you are so busy, perhaps a better use of your time? would be to read this link from another older single lady. I think that you have been to her blog site before solo femininity. She did a guest post on Girl Talk which I found to be more balanced and encouraging. : ) http://girltalk.blogs.com/girltalk/2005/08/q_a_carolyn_mcc.html
Dear Kimi,
I have read all blogs you suggested. I am familiar with Solo Femininity and while the author is pretty conservative she does try to offer a more balanced view of life. The most amazing blog I saw was at www.biblicalwomanhoodonline.com and it was not the article you mentioned that grabbed my attention, but the one that featured the missionary who stated her calling is not to share the gospel in the foreign country she lives in, but to make sandwiches and serve her family. She paints a picture of walking down the street, looking at poor people but seems content in the fact she needs to get home and fix lunch.
This is a prime example of what happens when young women take too literally the stereotype, idolatry, focus or whatever you want to call it, regarding who they are supposed to be as a Christian woman.
No, I don't agree that homemaking is the calling of every woman. That if you define homemaking as cleaning, cooking and homeschooling kids. I believe that if we as women seek a deep relationship with God, He will give us more than just roles that our Christian communites can plug us into. YES, he WILL call some women to that area, I am NOT arguing that, but instead of just teaching young women to assume this is their calling, I would like to see them seek God instead of a role.
To me a home is a husband and wife and their children (if they have any) It is not a building or structure but a soul relationship between those people. I do think that the family is also the foundation of a good society but this also must not be twisted out from what the Bible tells us and we need to realize that not everyone is going to be living with a husband or having children. Have you read the verses where Jesus tells us that we must be ready to leave our family and follow Him? What do you think of those verses?
Titus 2:4-5 tells older women "to train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to take care of their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands." Yes, this is asking older women to help support younger marriages thru counseling, advice on raising children, encouraging women to work with their husbands and not against them, to be wise, live in purity. The home part is also important. What I just stated above IS the home. It IS a family and the soul relationships between one another, not a building or bedroom. YES, married Christian women need to be focusing on their family, I am not arguing that, again, I bring up the question why do these blogs take the Bible so literally on these verses or Proverbs 31 and women are ignoring the rest of the Bible and running out to buy flax. NOTHING in the Bible is a stereotype. How can these verses relate to unmarried women? They are clearly for married women.
I don't think it's important what the world says a woman is. Why should I focus on that? I don't really care what Christian women get together and think a Christian woman is or what my hobby should be. I do care about my relationship with God and how I can please Him but studying and reading the whole Bible and applying the whole bible to my life!
No! Of course making money is not superior to anything, the Bible says, "the love of money is the root of all evil."
I will answer you question about what a Bible says to women in a longer post later but quickly I will add that the basic answer is, EVERYTHING. Everything in the Bible is for women. Do these women actually believe they are not called to serve God but only serve their husband? Do they believe they are saved thru their husbands or Jesus Christ? Is their main relationship with Jesus Christ or a man? I am confused.
ps. The article I mentioned is at www.biblicalwomanhoodonline.com/blog.htm and called A WORD TO WOMEN in case anyone wants to check it out!
Your blog is breath of fresh air! As a Christian woman I am amazed by the romantizicing that occurs about "homelife" and "familylife" in Christian communities.
I was discussing this with my mother this weekend. I came to the conclusion that women in our generation (I'm assuming that you are in the late 20s-mid30s) range were falsely told that we could have it all AND many of us grew up without good models of how to be a wife and/or a mother. Because of this, the ideal of feminity that is being promoted by many churches is seductive and gives us models to soothe the disappointment of not being able to simply have it all.
It gives me hope that that there are Christian women like you were to offer a more realistic view of what it means to be a 21st century Christian woman.
http://thisquietlife.typepad.com
Dear Wild Child,
My life will be a little more busy than usual for a while, so I don't know if I will be commenting on your site for a while. I also would hate to seem like I was always trying to "pick a fight" by disagreeing or asking questions.
: ) and so have questioned my constant commenting on your site.
I am rather sick right now, so I don't have the time or energy to comment on all of your feedback. But I did want to leave with just a few things cleared up.
I think that it would be a great misunderstanding to think that those who are trying to serve their families are not trying to serve God first. They are serving their families because they are trying to obey God.
As far as that post that caused you so much concern, I also had concerns about what she said. In the end (if you read the whole article). I think she was trying to say that she felt like she was reaching others more effectively by helping her husband and reaching out to others in her home. She also did say she thought ladies should learn to hand out tracks, etc. If she meant that woman should not witness for Christ, I would definitely think that she was unbalanced in her view.
The entire Bible is for woman, there is no question on that. And God does give men and women specific instructions in the Bible. We should pay attention to these as well as the rest of the Bible. That's all I was trying to say. As far as taking the Bible literally, I am not sure what you meant. When it says woman should be keepers of the home, I think that's what it means. I don't think that happens outside of the home. Most people feel like a home is made in house. If you want to know a little more of a view on what I think about Proverbs 31 you are welcome to visit my site and see my post "Knitting and Proverbs 31". kimiharris-nonconformist.blogspot.com. It's not about the knitting or lack of knitting (such as in my case as a very poor knitter), it's the heart attitude.
I have often thought about the verse that says we must be willing to leave family and friends for His sake. I had to accept God taking Faith, and to be willing for His will to be done. God had to be more important. I know that the Chinese and others persecuted often have to stand up for Christ even when it means their family members will be beaten and/or killed. I hope that I can have that same heart attitude. But I don't feel it gives me an out to being a stewerd of my home, or not paying attention to other instruction given. Here is a verse for men, in not neglecting their families.
1Tim. 5:8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
He is not free to walk away from his responsiblities. I don't think that was what you were trying to say. But someone could feel that way if they only looked at that other verse of the Bible.
I am glad that you don't feel money is superior, and that family is important. We can agree on that!
I am seeing more and more that we take a very different view on vital Bible passages on Biblical womanhood. It would take a lot of explaining to make clear why I believe what I do. But, if you were interested, not in a book about homemaking, but a thorough, in depth, look at Biblical manhood and womanhood, allow me to suggest Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, edited by Wayne Grudem and John Piper. They would give a whole lot more insight and wisdom than I could. It is big, but it is not hard to read and worth the time.
So that is my parting word of advice. : )
I hope all goes well for you, Wild Child and that God continues to draw you closer to Him.
Kimi
Kimi,
Please feel free to comment anytime and I don't think you are picking a fight! I do think about all you write even if I don't agree.
Yes we are both looking at Biblical womanhood differently because I don't think that women are to read the Bible differently than men in the first place. The whole Bible is for both men and women and I can't help by reading so many of these "anti-feminine" blogs that they are taking the same 3 passages of scripture and beating women over the head with them! I commented on your Proverbs 31 on your blogsite! :)
I am glad some of what the missionary said in that article concerned you. To me it had many red flags and made me quite upset. I don't think we should be leading women to believe they can't disciple or lead others to the Lord and that is men's work. That is what she states in her article as her belief and why she does not feel "called" to be a missionary. The bible says men and women become "one flesh" when they marry. I don't believe God gives them different callings. Yes, the man needs to focus on leadership and the wife needs to support him and help with the family but I don't see the Bible making stereotypes and think that every couple will fit into God's calling for them differently. God made us all different, why would He want every woman to learn to knit? If some likes that, great, but why are so many Christian women blogging for days about how you need to carry out all these roles?
All I can say, Wild Child, is thank you.
Times 100.
I had a rather waste of time discussion over on my blog regarding women wearing pants and skirts, if you can believe it.
Your post here is just...just what needs to be said.
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