Free and Feminine
Well I'm back after taking some time to think and pray about all those wild posts on feminine stereotyping. I still haven't been moved by the posts enough to back off on the idea that some Christian women ARE taking femininity and turning the stereotype of it into something they are holding up for the world to inspect or something they feel they need to worship or idolize. It's a funny thing that golden calf syndrome. The Isrealites were pretty into God until Moses turned his back for one second...
I think lots of people and even Christians need to construct a "house" or something that is comfortable for their faith to fit in, especially if they find freedom a bit to liberating. Freedom can be uncomfortable. I know there are many young girls who have grown up in divorced families or dysfunctional homes and they need to understand that they can still receive Christ even if they don't fit into the stereotype of having a father to serve or a family that will financially support them while they wait at home to be married. That kind of lifestyle is definitely a man made stereotype as not all people can fit into it. Christ is for everyone!
I am still single and do want to be married and want to "make a home" but that will come in it's time. Until then I am focused on serving the Lord in the ministry He has called me to and to find fulfillment in Him not a stereotype. I do not express my femininity by my cooking or homemaking skills. I express it because, well, I am a woman! Nothing can change that! :)
I do wonder if some of the young women in America nowadays are so pressured by secular values that they are reversing back to the stereotype of "homemaking" out of a sense of finding themselves as women. Young girls do need role models and I think most Christian women would agree there aren't enough Christian women role models around. I can't find one in all these "homey" types and so until I find my Prince Charming and can be accepted into the inner circle of the wonderful married women (or those who are preparing and romanticizing until he comes along,) I will be content sitting on the doorstep of my Father's temple. I would rather sit there for one day than anywhere else!
posted by Wild Child @ 9:14 AM
10 comments
10 Comments:
Hi Wild Child,
I found your blog from a coment you made on the Solo Femininity site and read all the posts you have written on femininity as an idol. I think you make some very good points. I, too, worry that some girls may be holding onto the hope of marriage and a home too tightly. I feel that I can speak about this because I used to idolize marriage myself. For me, it wasn't romanticizing the homemaking and having babies as much as falling in love and getting married and it being ever-so-romantic, so that my life would be perfect. I wanted to get marriend immediately after college. (haha--I would never have put it in those terms, but that's in essence how I thought of it.) For me, when I did not have a boyfriend around my junior year in college, and it became apparent that I would not be getting married the summer after I graduated, I was really upset. Didn't God want me to marry? Wasn't my desire to be a wife and mother biblical? I liked this guy, and thought he liked me and then when he never made any advances, I was so frustrated! In this time I really struggled with God's plan for my life. In that struggle, I realized that I was holding onto MY plan too tightly and getting mad when God's plan didn't match my mine. My plans had become an idol. I spent many months praying for contentment in what He would have for me. By God's grace, I am much happier now! I am finishing getting my teaching credential and plan to teach high school while hopefully doing some travelling or short term mission trips during my summers. I feel excited about my singleness, though still (very) eager to get married!
I think my concern for these girls is that they would not be holding onto their own plans too tightly. I know from experience that it can only cause frustration and bitterness toward the Lord when He deems that our plans are not best. If they can say that they feel that they would be content if they don't end up getting married and being a homemaker, then I think they have a healthy desire. If they would feel angry or betrayed, then it is an idol.
"Come now, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit.' Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. Instead, you ought to say, 'If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that.'" James 4:13-15
One other comment-several times you mentioned the seeming unwillingness on the part of these girls to go out into the world, and (I think) separately you discussed the lack of evangelism. I too perceive this as a danger. In my town, I was the only Christian in my public school class because all of the other Christian families sent their children to the private Christian school (it was a very small community). I had a great experience in public school, made wonderful friends, and was able to share the gospel with them. I was sad that there were not more Christians to help me share the Good News and also I was sad that none of my friends from the church youth group had non-Christian friends to witness to, as they only ever associated with Christians.
The current movement among Christians in America to make a mass exodus from public schools is unfortunate. I believe that our public schools are a huge mission field (one of the reasons I want to become a teacher). Think about it--the government pays for you to sit with people for hours a day, you cultivate relationships with them, and the next thing you know, you're sharing why you don't party on the weekend! It's awesome! Unfortunately, too many Christians these days take their kids out of public schools and, consequently, are missing out on this opportunity.
Wild Child--where else better to be--than at the Father's temple?
I don't know--perhaps there is a group that defines Christian woman as married and taking care of children and baking. I think that's just wrong. God has a special plan for each day/each season of our lives.
I am so thankful you are allowing God to use you at this stage of life. I pray He blesses you.
I could Amen Emilary's comments, too!
Thanks all for your comments! They are great!
Emilary's comments about the exodus of Christians from the public schools raises many interesting points. I had never thought about homeschooling one way or another before I started reading blogs. You are correct that the public schools are a mission field at this point. Sad but true!
Is home schooling the answer? I may post something on this in the future!
Dear Wild Child,
I haven't had much extra time lately, but I just checked back and saw that you had replied to me and had a few other posts on the topic of femininity. I would really love to respond more but haven't the time so I might jump back into our former conversation at a later time, if that is okay with you. I noticed that the other girls that disagree with you have stopped commenting and I think it's because of the realization that there is a huge gap in thought here. But the reason I would like to continue is because I think that you are willing to listen to "the other side" despite the negative feelings you have towards the "homey" ladies. Thanks for being willing to listen.
Kimi
Dear Wild Child,
I thought you might be interested in this article which shows another side to why some choose to stay home. http://homeliving.blogspot.com/2006/04/rebuilding-culture-of-home.html.
Kimi
Kimi, Yes of course I am willing to listen, but remember the idea is not school vs home life, the question is should young women be making a stereotype of "homelife" and turning that into their calling or making it into an idol. The Bible does not tell women to specifically choose home life, it encourages us to be devoted to God and we can do that in many different capacities. I will check out the website now, Thanks and please feel free to post you opinions anytime! :)
I checked out the website Kimi left above....I read the first two articles in detail....is this author a born again Christian? This appears to me to be a blog on the hobby of homemaking.
Just saw your response to me here. (thanks for the reply!) A few very quick comments, yes she is a born again Christian and yes their are women who feel that it is made very clear in scripture that homemaking is a calling of all woman (regardless of how that plays out in individul lives). I happen to feel, after a lot of study, that a heart for the home is very much so a characteristic of a godly woman. Just because homemaking is important to women who are trying to please their heavenly father, does not make the home an idol. If one was making the home into an idol, it doesn't make the home bad, it just mean that persons heart attitude was wrong. Does that make sense? Perhaps it would be helpful to know exactly what you do think about the home and what you think that Bible says specifically to women. This seems to be the root of our difference of opinion.
Emilary,
I'm homeschooled, and I would like to present my views on it. :o)
Well, as to public school being a mission field, that is true, but the whole world is a mission field!! Also, I feel like home-schooling is giving my parents time to train me, so I won't be influenced by the world and Satan. All too often we underestimate the power of peer pressure and the influence non-Christians can have on us, especially in the unstable teen years. I know we should try to influence non-Christians and even struggling Christians, but unfortunately it often works the other way. That is why I believe home-schooling is good because it gives kids time to become firm in their faith. I'm not saying we shouldn't try to witness to others, but to be surrounded by wordly people all the time can become quite oppressive if we are not strong in the Lord.
Well, that's about it!! Let me know what you think! :o)
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